YOU'RE NOT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE Albert Clayton Gaulden
An awakening is approaching, says Albert Gaulden; a remembrance of things as they are truly meant to be. No one else has the key to who you are, because your true self can only be revealed from within. When the mind is still and the will is receptive, such as during meditation, you can find your High Self by clearing away the ego's camouflage, looking within your own akashic record to find your true purpose. So, he explains, you become open to hearing the voice of inspiration, the still, small voice of intuition, by ridding yourself of the chaos that would otherwise stifle it. In You're Not Who You Think You Are, Albert guides you by sharing his own spiritual journey and many others' stories, too, in exploring eight life stages - including reconnection to the light, conversion of the ego, karmic mirrors, forgiveness and love. This enjoyable and highly readable guide is a real breakthrough to discovering the authentic you.
234pp, 144mm x 220mm, hardback, 2008
Forgiving yourself is a prerequisite to forgiving others. God may be all-seeing and all-knowing, but He wants you to come to Him and admit your wrongdoing as a right step to freedom from the bondage of self and others. When you make amends, it makes your life cleaner, clearer, and better. To ask for forgiveness shows a desire to reclaim your birthright and be the legitimate you, who always was and always will be.
When you face the truth looking back at you from the karmic mirror, those who have harmed you are mere reflections of what you've done to hurt others. The more you forgive and ask for forgiveness, the closer you come to who you really are. Never say 'I am sorry' or 'I apologize.' Rather say, 'I want to make amends for what I have done to harm you.' 'I am sorry' and 'I apologize' are passive-aggressive ploys that a lot of us use to get the heat off of us - and they are meaningless words - and don't clear the slate. To make amends means to change your behavior. Amends identify you as authentic and begin to separate you from the ego-driven self who harmed others.
Unless you make amends to those you have harmed, you will be tied to them forever. Your ex-husband will show up in every man you meet, because you never cleaned up the wreckage of your marriage. Refuse to ask your mother for forgiveness, and she will express herself in every woman who comes into your life.
I am reminded of a client - a darling woman whom I'll call Sarah - who was rebellious, oftentimes without a cause, and she definitely walked to the beat of her own drummer.
When I met Sarah she was thirty-eight and divorcing her third husband. She was perky and precocious, and she believed that if she slept with a man, she should be married to him first.
We discovered in the review of her life history that each of her husbands was an alcoholic, a womanizer, and - interestingly - had been fired from jobs for mis-management of company funds or, plainly put, embezzlement.
'Why would a girl like me marry the same kind of man three times' I'm not stupid!'
In opening her closet door we found a lot of incriminating evidence that she was doing the same thing expecting different results, which we in twelve-step meetings refer to as insanity.
Her father and stepfather were both attractive, alcoholic, womanizing men who had gone to jail for stealing company funds. Rather than taking a hard, cold look at their criminal behaviour, Sarah though her father and stepfather 'were great men who happened to have drunk a little too much, whom women found irresistible, and who happened to have been caught filching a little money from the people they worked for.' She had never seen the connection until we exposed the umbilical cord of her dysfunctional behaviour.
Sarah eventually came to understand that because she had never been honest about the reprobate men who raised her, she had attracted the same kind of men into her adult life. When she finally 'Windexed' the dark, dirty glass she'd been looking through, she saw the pattern and why.
To clean up her side of the street, she went to each ex-husband and made amends for expecting them to be loving and supportive and monogamous and honest. She confessed that she had been carrying around a magnet for drawing each of them to her. She needed to understand she had created each husband to fulfill her egocentric sick dependence on men who were not dependable, as she had done with her father and stepfather.
Forgiving herself and seeking forgiveness from the men allowed each of her ex-husbands an opportunity to make amends to her. And most of the time when you make amends to someone it opens the door of willingness for that person to ask forgiveness from you. Selfishness and self-seeking will fade and vanish. Remorse, self-pity, and feelings that no one loves you will melt under the light of love and forgiveness.
From You're Not Who You Think You Are, '2008 by Albert Clayton Gaulden, published by Atria Books.